the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
