we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
