doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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