im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
