Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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