It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
