I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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