Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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