I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize
