Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
