Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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