If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
