Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Did you pee in the oven last night??
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
