I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Less talking, more tequila
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize