So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
