pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
