normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
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