Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
