Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
sex in a hospital.. check
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
A+ Viking dick
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
