I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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