i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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