cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
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