Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
bring money and cleavage
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
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