told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
