so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
