the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
