is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize