Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
