I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
