We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
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