he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Do you still have your period?
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
