A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
