and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
