dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
