I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Randomize
