ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
