I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize