i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
