So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Please, let me fuck your mom
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
