Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Is Oprah even human
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Randomize
