i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
