Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize