eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
Randomize
