at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
