...so i touched it.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
