White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I forget how to act sober
You left your phone here
Wait...
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