The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
