how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
