I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
