Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Randomize
