she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
now i know why i became what i already was.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize