I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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