She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
