She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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