who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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