She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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