I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
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