I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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