Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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