I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
