The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Did I show you my penis last night?
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Randomize
