As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
