My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
