We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize