Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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