Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
