i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
