bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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