Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
