Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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